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Increasing Happiness and Well-Being through Traditions of Gratitude

October 7, 2019 by Creating Together

The chill in the air and the changing leaves tells us winter is coming. As the autumn season blossoms around us, it’s a great time to reflect on our autumn traditions.

With the Canadian Thanksgiving around the corner, this becomes a beautiful time of year to celebrate gratitude and thanks for the bountiful harvests in our lives.

Gratitude is Key to Well-Being

Evidence from our research at Berkeley suggests that grateful young adolescents (ages 11-13), compared to their less grateful counterparts, are happier and more optimistic, have better social support, are more satisfied with their school, family, community, friends, and themselves, and give more emotional support to others.

Research has also shown that gratitude plays a major role in our well-being and success. For example, one study links gratitude to greater social support and protection from stress and depression over time.

How Can We Cultivate a Tradition of Gratitude in our Youngsters?

Whether it’s Sunday dinners, birthdays, or family game night, having routines that you do as a “family” is important on many levels. Research since the 1950s shows us that no matter which language you speak or where you are from in the world, traditions and rituals in family life are linked to increased happiness, emotional well-being, and a greater sense of identity in children. So how can we cultivate a tradition of gratitude in our families, so we can give our children the best possible foundation?

Harvest time is the perfect time of year to begin.

Traditionally at this time of year, people give thanks for the sunlight and the fruits of the earth, recognizing that we must share those fruits as we enter the harsher months, and prepare to turn inward in the winter darkness. It’s the perfect time to get started on a family routine to cultivate gratitude – and it won’t only benefit the kids. We could all use a little more happiness and well-being!

Join us this Friday for our annual Thanksgiving Potluck Lunch – make a dish with your young one and join us in gratitude and celebration!

The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley has done a lot of work in the area, and published an article with 7 suggestions for fostering gratitude in their “Greater Good Magazine” as part of their “Expanding Gratitude” project, summarized here:

Model and teach gratitude: Expressing gratitude through words, writing, and small gifts or acts of reciprocity are all ways to teach children how to become grateful. Adults can promote gratitude directly in children by helping them appraise the benefits they receive from others—the personal value of those benefits, the altruistic intention of people providing them, and the cost to those people. This helps kids think gratefully.
Spend time with your kids and be mindful when with them: Being mindful helps you maintain empathy toward a child, and this provides important modeling of empathy, the most important emotion for developing gratitude and moral behavior. It will also give you and your child a heightened sense of appreciation for the things both of you love and for your relationship.
Support your child’s autonomy: Using an authoritative or democratic parenting style, which is firm, yet flexible, sup- ports children’s autonomy. This will enhance family relationships, improve the atmosphere at home, and help bring out their strengths and talents, all good for making grateful kids. Also, limiting children’s media consumption and guiding them to use media in prosocial ways protects them from commercial influences that discourage the development of the authenticity, self-development, and social interaction necessary to grow into positive, purposeful, grateful individuals.
Use kids’ strengths to fuel gratitude: After you’ve identified your children’s top strengths and you know their unique strengths profile, you should encourage and help them to use those strengths whenever possible. Not only does this open up opportunities for others to contribute to the things your children love, but it also enables your children to strengthen their ability to be helpful and cooperative toward others, which will make them more grateful.
Help focus and support kids to achieve intrinsic goals: Steer children away from pursuing extrinsic goals and toward pursuing intrinsic goals, such as engaging in activities that provide community, affiliation, and growth. Not only will successfully achieving these goals fulfill children’s fundamental human needs of competency, belongingness, and autonomy, but their personal development, happiness, success, and gratitude depend on it. To amplify their gratitude even more, remember to savor their accomplishments with them along the way, and encourage them to thank those who’ve helped them meet their goals.
Encourage helping others and nurturing relationships: When children lend a hand, especially while using their strengths, they feel more connected to those they’re helping, which helps them to develop and nurture friendships and social relationships. A great way to do this is by teaching them through your actions that other people matter and that tending to relationships should be a priority. To help children strengthen their relationships, you should encourage them to be thoughtful of others, to thank others regularly, and to be cooperative, helpful, and giving.
Help kids find what matters to them: The deepest sense of gratitude in life comes from connecting to a bigger picture, to an issue that matters to others and doing things that contribute to society down the road.

Whatever it is that you choose to do, cultivating gratitude in your family will give everybody a lift, and will create long-term impact for individual family members but also for communities to become more compassionate, caring, and content.

How Gratitude Helps Through Hard Times

9 Gratitude Activities for Children

Gratitude Traditions for Thanksgiving Dinner

Scarf Dancing

September 30, 2019 by Creating Together

The music turns on, the scarves are passed around, and the parents, caregivers, and kids go wild. Toss it. Twirl it. Throw it and catch it. And we kick off every month with it at Creating Together.

Benefits of Scarf Dancing

So what is scarf dancing and what makes it so great?

Most kids love dancing and involving a scarf makes it even more fun. Whether your child is a baby or toddler, there are so many great benefits to scarf play. KinderMusik, an organization committed to empowering young children to learn through music, describes a number of benefits to dancing with scarves (KinderMusik.com):

Sparking imagination as we explore all kinds of ways to play with our scarves
Teaching directional tracking as we visually track our scarves’ movement
Improving eye-hand coordination as we play catch or peekaboo
Increasing vocabulary as we verbally describe what we are doing with our scarves
Sharpening listening skills as we move our scarves based on musical or verbal cues
Practicing inhibitory skills as we start and stop our movements with the scarves

It may not sound like much, but kids love it – and there are so many different games that can be brought into the mix, to keep in changing each month.

Scarf Games and Activities to Try at Home

12 Educational Games to do with scarves at home, from Birth to Age 4 – ParentHub.com

Scarf Play at Home – KinderMusik.com

Scarf Activities for Kids – TheInspiredTreehouse.com

Self-Care for Children

August 29, 2019 by Creating Together

Life can get hectic, and remembering to take care of ourselves can easily fall to the bottom of the priority list. We have offered a few blogs to help parents with Self-Care for themselves, be it Prioritizing Self-Care in the Summer Months, or 10 Self-Care Tips for Moms. However, self-care routines are just as important for children. The earlier your child learns self-care, the more likely they are to maintain those good habits into adulthood.

Practicing self-care routines at a young age can reduce the risk of developing mental health conditions like anxiety and depression.
Ashleigh Louis, Ph.D., LMFT, Psychotherapist and Yoga Instructor (Laguna Beach, CA)

What are self care skills?

For children, self-care skills are the everyday tasks that help children participate in life activities, such as dressing, eating, and cleaning teeth. While adults support young children with these, it is expected that as children mature, they develop independence in these. When self care skills are difficult, this can limit other life experiences, be it difficulty with sleep overs at a friend’s, going on school/preschool excursions, or eating and toileting on their own at birthday parties.

Self-care habits are also things they can practice regularly, which provide stress relief and body-mind-spirit wellness. From painting and running to journalling and meditation, you can make it your mission to find a self-care habit your child can get excited about.

What can be done to improve self care skills?

Visual schedule of the steps involved
Reward chart for independent completion of tasks (or attempt at, in the early stages).
Small steps: Breaking down self-care skills into smaller steps and supporting the child through each step so that, in time, they can do more for themselves.
Routine: Use the same routine or strategy each time you complete the same task to help them learn it faster.
Consistency: Be consistent with the words and signs used to assist the child, and keep instructions short and simple.
Allow enough time: Ensure that there is enough time available for the child to participate in self care activities without feeling rushed (e.g. practice dressing on the weekend to start with before then doing it before rushing to preschool or school).

What activities can help improve self care skills?

Here are 10 activities to help you support your child in developing their own self-care routine:

Family Time: Regular daily routines that emphasize consistent wake up, eating, homework, bedtime, play, and chore schedules will provide the structure they need to understand and predict their world.
Slow Down Time: One of the overlooked elements of family routines for children, is building in “slow down” time (eg., yoga, deep breathing). Regular, built-in “slow down” time during the day allows children to learn how to make mindful choices.
Small parts of activities: Practice doing a small part of a task each day as it is easier to learn new skills in smaller sections.
Nature Time: Taking this time outside in nature has been found to specifically reduce depression. Carve out time in the week to go on a hike or walk around the neighborhood.

*Sign up is open now for our upcoming trip to Chuldeigh’s Farm!*

Observation: Have your child to observe other family members performing everyday self care skills.
Sleep: Sleep is one of the most crucial ingredients for learning, performance and mental health and good sleep starts with a consistent and early bedtime. For tips, see our earlier blog on Sleep Hygiene for children.
Role play: Self care tasks such as eating, dressing or brushing teeth with teddy bears. Doing it on others can help learning it before then doing it on yourself.
Expressing Feelings: Identifying and expressing feelings is a learned skill. Teach feeling words, discuss the emotions of characters in your child’s favorite stories, and encourage journalling. These strategies reduce stress, help them build relationships, and help them understand their feelings.
Timers to indicate how long they must tolerate an activity they may not enjoy, such as teeth cleaning.
Taking care of others: Altruistic emotions are associated with better health and well-being, and build family connection. Allow the child to brush your hair or teeth first, before brushing their own. Go out and volunteer as a family, be it delivering a meal to a neighbour or writing a kind note for a friend or teacher.

Other useful resources

Sleep Hygiene for Children

August 15, 2019 by Creating Together

According to the National Sleep Foundation, sleep hygiene is “a variety of different practices and habits that are necessary to have good nighttime sleep quality and full daytime alertness.”

Why is Sleep Important?

Getting healthy sleep is important for both physical and mental health. It can also improve productivity and overall quality of life. Lets look at some examples:

Healthy Growth – Did you know that growth hormone is primarily secreted during deep sleep, and that Italian researchers, studying children with deficient levels of growth hormone, have found that they sleep less deeply than average children do?
The Weight Connection – Children, like adults, crave higher-fat or higher-carb foods when they’re tired” says Dorit Koren, M.D., a pediatric endocrinologist and sleep researcher at the University of Chicago “Tired children also tend to be more sedentary, so they burn fewer calories.”
Immune Function – During sleep, children (and adults) also produce proteins known as cytokines, which the body relies on to fight infection, illness, and stress. Too little sleep appears to impact the number of cytokines on hand.
Managing Moods and Impulses – For school-age kids, research has shown that adding as little as 27 minutes of extra sleep per night makes it easier for them to manage their moods and impulses so they can focus on schoolwork.

How much sleep does my child need?

Every child is different. Some sleep a lot and others much less. This chart is a general guide to the amount of sleep children need over a 24-hour period, including nighttime sleep and daytime naps.

Infants (4 to 12 months old)	12-16 hours
Toddlers (1 to 2 years old)	11-14 hours
Children (3 to 5 years old)	10-13 hours
Children (6-12 years)	9-12 hours
Teenagers (13-18 years old)	8-10 hours

Source: Recommended Amount of Sleep for Pediatric Populations: A Consensus Statement (American Academy of Sleep Medicine)

Healthy Sleep Habits for Children

Healthy sleep habits start from birth, but life also presents many challenges to developing and sticking to a healthy sleep routine for ourselves and our children. “…it can be very difficult to recognize all the ways that after-school and evening activities sabotage bedtime,” says Parents advisor Jodi Mindell, Ph.D., associate director of the Sleep Center at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.

Here are some tips for different ages from “Caring For Kids“, so you can help your child(ren) get the most of every day:

Babies (0-4 months):

Napping actually helps a baby to sleep better at night, so schedule some naps during the day.
Put your baby in bed when they are drowsy, but awake. Remember to put them to sleep on their back in their crib, on a firm, flat surface. Keep soft items like pillows and stuffed animals out of the crib.
It’s okay to cuddle and rock your baby. You cannot spoil a young baby by holding them.
A pacifier may comfort and help your baby to settle. However, it’s best not to start using a pacifier until breastfeeding is going well.
Your baby will stir during the night. Give them a few minutes to try and settle on his their before going to them.
Avoid stimulation during nighttime feedings and diaper changes. Keep the lights dim.

Infants (4-12 months):

Maintain a regular daytime and bedtime sleep schedule as much as possible.
A consistent bedtime routine is important. Many parents like to use the “3 Bs”: bath, book, bed.
Don’t put your baby to bed with a bottle. This can lead to tooth decay.
At around 6 months, if your baby wakes at night and cries, go check to see if there is anything wrong, such as being too cold or too warm, and without picking them up, comfort them by stroking their forehead or talking softly to let them know you’re there. This helps your baby learn how to self-soothe, important steps toward falling back to sleep on their own.

Toddler (1-2 years):

It’s still important to keep a sleep schedule your child is familiar with. The routine you established during the first year is even more important for your toddler.
Avoid naps that are too late in the day, because at this age, they can affect nighttime sleeping.
Help your child wind down about half an hour before bedtime with stories and quiet activities.
Be gentle but firm if your child protests.
Keep the bedroom quiet, cozy, and good for sleeping, such as keeping the lights dim.
Soft, soothing music might be comforting.
Security items (such as a blanket or stuffed animal) are often important at this age.

Preschoolers (3-5 years):

Don’t give your child drinks with caffeine.
Avoid screens before bedtime. Don’t allow tablets, televisions, computer or video games in the bedroom.
Some children will try to delay bedtime. Set limits, such as how many books you will read together, and be sure your child knows what they are.
Tuck your child into bed snugly for a feeling of security.
Don’t ignore bedtime fears. If your child has nightmares, reassure and comfort them.

Prioritizing Self-Care in Summer Months

July 27, 2019 by Creating Together

With summer here and school out, the kids are home. Some look forward to it and some can’t wait for it to be over. Either way, it’s important to make self-care a priority.

Here are 5 tips to save your sanity and keep those stress-levels down so you can be the best you can be this summer:

Create a routine – for tips on how to create a healthy summer routine with your kids, check out this blog: https://gradepowerlearning.com/creating-a-summer-routine-for-children/
Take yourself out once and a while – schedule time to energize yourself with some me-time, be it a yoga class, a night out with friends, or a date night with your partner.
Be intentional about developing a connection with your child(ren) – when you fill your relationship up emotionally, it creates space for other things, and builds up a more meaningful relationship between you and your child(ren).
Get involved with community activities – be it a week-long camp or a day out at a local festival, schedule some time in your local community. For a list of things to do in Toronto, check out this link: https://www.toronto.com/parkdale-toronto-on-events/
Make exercising and healthy meal planning a family activity. This not only gets things done, but you’ll all feel better in your bodies. Here’s a list of 5 great ways to incorporate your child(ren) into your exercise routine: https://www.netdoctor.co.uk/healthy-living/fitness/a29404/exercising-with-children/. Also, here are some tips from KidsHealth on how to involve children in meal tasks: https://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/Article?contentid=1465&language=English

Do you have other concerns about your family’s health and well-being? Join us at our upcoming Nurse Visit on August 7th at 10am.

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